Final write up on Relationship Guides...

{An excerpt from a book}

A romantic mind-set is based on the false and

harmful notion that a good relationship is something you find, when in fact it is something you make. 

Infatuation is something you find. Sexual chemistry is something you find. A lost cell phone is something you find. But a strong, intimate, God-honoring marriage that leads to a lifelong partnership and that fosters a sense of oneness? That’s something you make, and it takes a long time to make.

A relationship, by its very definition, can’t be found; it

has to be built. It requires two people getting to know

each other, and then every day they have to choose to

keep relating to each other or risk drifting apart. Intimacy is created stitch by stitch, through verbal sharing, dedicated praying, acts of love and service, expressions of commitment, and building increased understanding through regular communication and by experiencing life together.

Dating is different from marriage—it is appropriate to

evaluate your commitment and the person’s worthiness, as their character reveals itself. Once you are married, you have to look at these things differently, but until you are married, evaluation is essential.

It's two-sided, don't go about breaking people's hearts when you could have used your brain and not just your heart alone before going into the relationship.

It's quite understandable when crazy things begin to unfold mid way in the relationship, when you see such, pick your two legs and run.

Once the infatuation ends, relational skills are essential to take your marriage to the next level.

This sounds rather elementary, but it’s often ignored in the fog of infatuation.

When it comes to evaluating relational compatibility,

authors Ben Young and Samuel Adams remind us that

personality doesn’t change; we grow and evolve, but we don’t become completely new people. So don’t expect that to happen after marriage. The person you marry is theperson you’re going to be married to.

Two companions can have at least a satisfactory sexual relationship if they are motivated by kindness and love. But a satisfactory sexual relationship does not guarantee relational compatibility.

Remember, you’re seeking someone you are eager to

live with, not put up with. If you feel like you are already tolerating your partner’s personality for the sake of the relationship mainly because your feelings for them are so strong, proceed with caution. 

Marry someone you want tobe married to for the rest of your life, not someone you hope to transform into a satisfactory spouse in five years’ time.

An occasional disagreement won’t doom the relationship, so don’t be too scared. But CONSISTENT INCOMPATIBILITY in major areas, that can’t be resolved is something you’d be foolish to ignore.

Don't be so focused on getting Mr right that you fail to make yourself the right person to. It's not just about getting a blissful marriage. It's about becoming a better person with your spouse, loving God, fulfilling destiny, scaling through challenges and glorifying God. That's what the journey is all about.

That'll be all for now. Thank you for reading till the end. What have you learnt so far? Care to share??

PS: Anticipate this month's topic🌚🌝. It promises to be insightful ❤️😍.